This article first appeared in Aboriginal & Islander Health Worker Journal, July/August 2008

Does the Apology Bring about Healing?

Anthony Dillon

When I write, I generally try to write something. that will invoke discussion and also cause disagreements. To write something which everyone agrees on, would generally achieve very little. I am sure this article will invoke disagreement. This article summarises my personal thoughts about the PM's apology offered to Aboriginal people---and these are just my personal thoughts. I do not claim to represent the views and opinions of all Indigenous Australians, as there would appear to be no shortage of Indigenous leaders claiming that role for themselves.

While I believe the apology was appropriate, my concern is that many believe that it was necessary in order for people to achieve good health---both physical and mental health. Unfortunately, many believed that without an apology, Indigenous people would not be able to get on with life. They believed that those who were suffering, were doing so because an apology had not been provided by the previous government. I am not suggesting that Indigenous people have not suffered in the past, but is it really because an apology had not been offered? Could there be other reasons for the suffering?

I believe the apology given was sincere, however, I do not believe it was necessary in order to promote 'healing.' I recall one Indigenous leader saying something like "Let the healing begin" in regards to the PM's apology. Another Indigenous leader had remarked that until an apology is given, Indigenous people can not move forward. At the most simple and basic levels of understanding, such advice is basically saying "Indigenous people are victims until an apology is given."

It is true, injustices did occur in the past, however, it is not the offering of an apology by the perpetrator (or their representatives) that brings about healing---it is FORGIVENESS on the part of the person who was perpetrated against. I shall repeat that: healing comes from forgiveness, not from receiving an apology. Offering an apology (and even celebrating it) is fine, but unless the one for whom the apology is intended forgives, the apology will be of little effect. And the good news is, that one can forgive (and therefore heal), even if an apology is not offered. According to Tolle (2005), with forgiveness, the victim identity dissolves, and a person's true power emerges.

The aim of this article is to talk about the need for forgiveness if healing is to occur. I am talking here mostly about spiritual or emotional healing, but it also applies to physical healing as well. Incidentally, I believe the principle and practice of 'forgiveness' was something that was naturally embraced and understood by our ancestors. They understood the principle of connectedness and unity between all of life, and therefore saw others as they saw themselves. When I use the word 'forgiveness' I simply mean a person's ability and desire to understand others, see them as innocent, and get on with life. To depend on someone else for an apology in order to heal or move forward is disempowering, while the practice and attitude of forgiveness, is empowering. Spezzano (1999) expresses the notion of forgiveness beautifully:

The beauty of forgiveness is that it releases us from patterns where we are caught. It releases us from being a victim and being caught in situations we do not like. Forgiveness changes our perception. When we see situations differently, things actually are different for us. Basically, all healing has to do with changing our perception and seeing things in a new light. Forgiveness allows us to live in a way that raises us above the situation, thus the situation changes. (p. 4)

To suggest that an apology is not needed, is not to deny wrongdoings of the past. I do acknowledge wrongdoings of the past. However, to demand an apology, or make claims such as "We can not heal until an apology is given," is simply a form of emotional blackmail---an attempt to make someone else feel guilty (perhaps in an attempt to alleviate our own guilt?), and a belief that the past has more power over us than the present. As I have said before, "we are never victims of the past, but only ever victims of our view of the past." Forgiveness changes how we view others, the present, and the past. Forgiveness brings healing to ourselves, and to others. But forgiveness is a choice---a very personal choice. I am not writing this article to tell people what they should or should not do. I am only trying to stimulate people's thinking.

When we forgive, we are the victors. According to Spezzano (1999), forgiveness not only releases the one we forgive, but it also releases us---so forgiveness is really for our benefit as well. When you read that last sentence, there may have been a part of you that resisted or felt uncomfortable. That is normal. It is human nature that does not wish to be released (from a self-defeating way of thinking), but rather wishes to be the victim and hold somebody else accountable for their wellbeing. It is also that same human nature that is responsible for many of the problems in the world (hunger, crime, destruction, etc.)---a nature that needs to change.

Forgiveness means abandoning the old nature and embracing a new nature. To forgive, means taking responsibility for one's own life and to see others as doing the best they can. We cannot always change our circumstances, but with forgiveness, we can change our evaluation and perception of our circumstances, thus making better lives for ourselves. The choice is yours. I do acknowledge wrongdoings of past governments and individuals, but I choose not to 'cast the first stone'. If this article helps you and encourages you, then I am pleased.

References

Spezzano, C. (1999) If it hurts, it isn't love, London, Hodder and Stoughton.

Tolle, E. (2005) A new Earth, New York, Dutton Adult.